Be Kind to Your Mind

By Olivia Grossklaus, AMFT

In the whirlwind of daily life, we often prioritize external obligations such as work deadlines, social commitments, friend/family responsibilities. We check off to-do lists, manage relationships, and keep up appearances, both on and offline. Yet, beneath all that noise lies the most powerful and constant voice in our lives: our own internal dialogue.

This internal environment, your thoughts, beliefs, and emotional patterns, are the operating system for your mind. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, the way you talk to yourself shapes how you perceive the world, how you feel and interpret your emotions, and ultimately, how you live.

What Is Internal Dialogue?

Your internal dialogue is the ongoing conversation you have with yourself. It's the voice in your head that evaluates your actions, reacts to events, plans the future, and replays the past. This dialogue can be either constructive and motivating or harsh and self-defeating.

For example, consider the difference between these two internal reactions to a mistake:

● "I'm so stupid. I always mess up."

● "That was a tough moment, but I can learn from this and do better next time."

Both are responses to the same event. But one tears you down, while the other builds you up. That’s the power of internal dialogue.

Self-talk shapes your self-worth. Your brain is always listening. The way you speak to yourself becomes the way you feel about yourself. Negative self-talk reinforces insecurity, doubt, and fear. On the flip side, compassionate and realistic self-talk cultivates confidence, resilience, and self-trust.

Self-talk influences decision making. If your internal dialogue is dominated by fear or harsh judgment, you're more likely to avoid challenges or settle for less. But when your inner voice supports growth and self-compassion, you're more likely to take healthy risks, advocate for yourself, and pursue meaningful goals.

Self-talk impacts physical and mental health. Chronic negative thinking is linked to stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems like weakened immunity or heart disease. A nurturing internal environment can promote calm, balance, and emotional well-being, allowing your body and mind to function more effectively.

How you treat yourself sets the tone both for how you treat others and how you allow others to treat you. A kind, grounded internal dialogue strengthens boundaries, empathy, and the ability to connect authentically with others.

How to Cultivate a Healthier Internal Environment

● Pay attention to the tone and content of your self-talk. Awareness is the first step toward change.

● Ask yourself, “Is this thought true? Is it helpful? What would I say to a friend in this situation?”

● Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a loved one.

● Journaling, meditation, or even quiet walks can help you check in with your internal world and recalibrate when needed.

● The people you engage with (on and offline) can either reinforce or challenge your internal dialogue. Choose relationships that support your growth and self-respect.

You have so much power and control over your inner space. It deserves care, attention, and intention. Nurturing your internal dialogue isn’t about pretending everything is fine, it’s about creating a space within where growth is possible, even in difficult moments.

The world can be chaotic and unpredictable, but your internal environment can be your anchor. Start treating it like the sacred space it is, because the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.

Managing Expectations: Letting Go of the 'Perfect Mom' Myth

By Caroline Neal, LMFT

Becoming a mother is an incredible journey, filled with joy, challenges, and a myriad of emotions. As you navigate this new chapter, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the pressure to be the "perfect mom." Social media, parenting blogs, and even well-meaning friends and family can contribute to unrealistic expectations. However, it's crucial to remember that the notion of a perfect mom is just that—a myth. Let's explore how you can manage these expectations and embrace your unique, wonderful self.

The Myth of the Perfect Mom

The idea of the perfect mom is pervasive and persistent. She’s often depicted as someone who has it all together: perfectly balanced, always patient, endlessly loving, and constantly energetic. Her house is spotless, her children are always well-behaved, and she manages to juggle work, family, and personal time effortlessly. 

But here’s the truth: this idealized version of motherhood is not only unrealistic but also harmful. It sets an unattainable standard that can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and stress. Every mother’s journey is different, and perfection in motherhood simply doesn’t exist.

Understanding and Accepting Your Limits

One of the first steps in managing expectations is to understand and accept your limits. Motherhood is a demanding role, and it’s perfectly okay to feel exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Recognize that it’s impossible to do everything perfectly, and that’s completely normal. Here are a few tips to help you embrace this mindset:

1. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable goals for yourself and your family. Prioritize what truly matters and let go of minor tasks that can wait.

2. Acknowledge Your Efforts:Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Whether it’s getting through a tough day or simply spending quality time with your child, every effort counts.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same understanding and patience that you would offer a friend in your situation.

 Embracing Imperfection

Embracing imperfection doesn’t mean lowering your standards or not caring about your responsibilities. It means recognizing that being a good mom is about love, care, and effort—not about meeting an impossible standard. Here’s how you can start embracing imperfection:

1. Connect with Other Moms:Share your experiences with other mothers. You’ll quickly realize that everyone faces challenges and no one has it all figured out. This sense of community can be incredibly reassuring.

2. Focus on What Really Matters: Pay attention to what makes you and your child happy. Sometimes, it’s the simplest moments that are the most meaningful. Focus on creating memories rather than striving for perfection.

3. Learn from Mistakes:Mistakes are part of the learning process. Instead of dwelling on them, use them as opportunities to grow and improve. Remember, every mom makes mistakes.

Seeking Support

It’s essential to seek support when you need it. Whether it’s from your partner, family, friends, or a professional therapist, having a support system can make a significant difference. Here are some ways to find support:

1. Join Support Groups: Many communities offer support groups for new moms. These groups provide a safe space to share your feelings and experiences.

2. Talk to a Therapist: A therapist can help you navigate the challenges of motherhood, manage stress, and develop healthy coping strategies. Therapy is a valuable resource for addressing feelings of inadequacy and finding balance.

3. Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to ask for help with daily tasks. Whether it’s babysitting, cooking, or running errands, accepting help can relieve some of the pressure.

 Conclusion

Letting go of the "perfect mom" myth is a liberating and empowering process. By managing expectations and embracing your unique journey, you can focus on what truly matters—building a loving, nurturing relationship with your child and taking care of yourself. Remember, being a great mom isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present, loving, and resilient. Embrace the imperfections, celebrate your efforts, and know that you are enough.

The Power of Gratitude

By Nicole marino, amft

Hearing something as simple as “practicing gratitude is so important” seems so obvious and self-explanatory, but it is a practice that is often overlooked. In our current world that is full of social media comparison, it is even more important to disconnect and remind yourself about the life that you are living. Big or small; we all have things in our lives to be grateful for every day. It is so easy to go on tik tok or Instagram and see a perfectly curated video or feed of someone’s life full of beautiful vacations or a successful career or a perfect relationship, but social media is a highlight reel. Social media only shows the good parts of our lives. It doesn’t often show the down days full of stress, sadness, loneliness, or defeat. Don’t fall into the comparison trap and assume that everyone else’s lives are so much better than yours, especially seeing it through the lens of social media content.

Reflecting at least once a day on the things that are positive or make you happy in your life can really help reframe your mindset and overall mental health struggles such as anxiety and depression. People can assume that in order to be grateful, we need to have a lot of exciting things going on outside of the mundane tasks of daily life. But that is not true. You can express gratitude for something as simple as the sun shining today, your walk with your dog, your warm comforter, or cooking your favorite meal. It does not have to be anything unique or outrageous!

Some ideas for practicing gratitude:

• Wake up and create a list first thing in the morning either in your head or on a piece of paper/journal

• Do a daily reflecting meditation

• Talk out loud with someone and share things you both are feeling grateful for

• Create a gratitude jar where you add at least one thing per day

• Call a friend or family member and express your gratitude for your relationship with them

• Create a list of gratitude affirmations to read/recite each day to yourself

• Lay in bed at the end of the day and reflect on the aspects of your day that you are grateful for

Ideas of things to be grateful for:

Like I stated before, the things that you feel grateful for do not have to be out of the ordinary. It is important to reflect on the simple things in life that bring an extra spark of joy if we were not able to do it. This may be different each day given your routine or schedule, and that is okay! Just reflect from whatever the day was, even if it was a horrible day in your opinion. I bet you can find at least one thing to be grateful for.

• Health

• Friends or family

• Laughing today

• Connecting with someone you normally wouldn’t

• Listening to your favorite podcast or music

• Getting to work on time

• Coming home after a long day and changing into your pajamas

• Someone holding the door for you

• Tomorrow being a new day and a fresh start

• Finding a new book or show

• Getting outside and connecting with nature

• Having positive self-talk during a tough day

• Coping the best you could with stress and being proud of that effort

These are just some examples of things that you can potentially feel grateful for on a given day. Just remind yourself that big or small, your life matters and the things that happen matter! When we take a step back and reflect, we can find that we have so much more to be grateful for than we sometimes give credit for. Try this and see how you feel! You might find yourself having a different outlook on your life and notice yourself comparing less to others.

The Power of Positivity

By Caitlin Nelson, AMFT

Prioritizing positivity about ourselves has taken a bit of beating over the years, in part due to the rise of social media. We are invited to compare ourselves, almost constantly, to the rose-colored images of other people’s lives. The impact this is having on our well-being has been tied to an increase in anxiety and depressive symptoms. Our ability to remind ourselves that social media is a highlight reel, rather than a true depiction of others, allows us to stay mindful of reality. It also allows us to cultivate an appreciation for the positive aspects of our own lives.

Feeling grateful increases our sense of satisfaction and our self-esteem. It can also decrease the felt impact from negative experiences. An easy way to begin focusing on the positives in your own life is to keep a gratitude journal. Gratitude journals have been shown to decrease stress, improve sleep, and increase self-awareness. Dedicate time throughout your week to document what you are grateful for and allow your positive sense of self to flourish.

Learn more about the impact of social comparison here.

Delve further into gratitude journals here.